My wife

If you're reading this and your name is Kirsten Dunst, please e-mail me because i want to marry you.

"It seems like e/n is dying, and not a very slow death either. People have had their lamentations from the beginning, but now I see the light. Aherdofturtles is gone. Fubar is on its way out. Bence quit the skene. Ramblings moved on to less digital pastures. The insane pace e/n used to go at, with pages popping up every damn second with the same old tired shit is gone. Now everybody is having a collective brain fart, and it sucks."

It's nice to see my site being mentioned amongst heavyweights such as Bence, Aherdofturtles and Ramblings. Too bad it's DEAD.

Subject: ...And now for something old and uninspired
From: Add to Contacts
Date: Tue, Apr 3 2001 6:09:56 PM EDT

Well, since you're hanging on to your stance of not updating in the way we all have come to know and love, I figured I would step in and be the proxy for all these poor people. Here goes!

Hey kids!

Today I didn't buy any DVD's, but at least I woke up tired and sick. Tired from staying up till 2:30 installing a 950mhz CU and motherboard into my system, (my ethernet card wouldn't respond, hence my lack of internet. Also, my sound card was causing conflicts with the onboard audio.) and after that I read another chapter from the current Wheel of Time book I'm on. Man, that Matrim Cauthon rocks! And sick from standing to close to a sick girl at my work. Amazing how a girl can scream in panic when you lift her over your head and she wasn't expecting it.

Well, being sick, tired, hungry, and at work; I decided the only course of action was sick people medicine. Namely, DayQuil!

Out of DayQuil. Damn.

then...NyQuil!!! Hmm...these here directions say 2 every 4 hours. Nah, I'm sick now. I'll take 4 now!

(an hour later) Damn, what the fuck did I take, a mickey? It's a good thing there's no heavy machinery to be operated with right, a wrecking ball in my hands wouldn't be a good idea right now. What is in these pills, whisky?!

(2 hours later) For the past 2 hours, no could understand a word I said, a had absolutely no equalibriam, and my head was swimming like Greg Louganis at the first annual GLAAD swim meet. But I beat it. I took 4 NyQuil tablets and did not pass out. Did not sleep. It's like I've said before: You can't stop, CAN'T STOP! The Jerk!

In other news, in my inebriated state, I thought it wise to start rapping to an old black man. Comment as you will.

Well, I guess not much exciting happened today. I'll get back you all in a bit if anything cool happens.


To: "Justin Sane"
Subject: On your Knees, Soldier
From: "fedallah" Add to Contacts
Date: Tue, Apr 3 2001 12:57:03 AM -0700

fedallah: Your site irritates me.
Justin: how so? hehe
fedallah: The hit mooching.
fedallah: I refuse to visit it for that reason.
fedallah: All I do is close the windows.
Justin: har har
Justin: i got five new emails
Justin: have you read?
fedallah: No.
fedallah: I refuse to visit.
fedallah: The popups.
Justin: you're gonna have to close those two windows those...if you do
Justin: haha
fedallah: In fact, I'm going to write you an email.
fedallah: Which you'll post, no doubt, about how I refuse to visit your site
fedallah: and read my email, which you'll post, no doubt.

And I believe this tops the quote of a quote of a quote nonsense you were participating in earlier. It's going to be an excerpt of a refrence to an email in which it is contained on which it refers to the site on which it's posted. That's like, seven degrees before Kevin Bacon! I win!

fedallah - the New Intellectual's Playground

Subject: Impending Legal Action
From: "Empedocles" Add to Contacts
Date: Tue, Apr 3 2001 12:14:44 AM -0700

Justin. Justin. Justin.

I like the new layout, it's fantastic. The Dancing guy!? Fantastic! Keep up the good work. I hope you never, ever, ever, ever go back to that old horrible layout of posting about your life, DVDs, news, you know whatever you felt like. Complaints and other random email material are much better than all of that fluff.

Now give me my porn.

- Empedocles
(He who is enlightened)

Subject: the email about ass
From: Edo Inoue
Date: Mon, Apr 2 2001 11:14:53 PM -0700 (PDT)


Look asspubes. You're not fooling anyone. You just got a friggin' domain name. Why close the site now?

Send me some recipes for cake. I want to eat cake.

Oh, and have some sort of link or redirection to the FAT website dude. We got Erin Wallis on our site now. And she's really hot. So there. you want to join our site?



Subject: It looks like it's really over, this time.
From: Wade Add to Contacts
Date: Tue, Apr 3 2001 2:18:47 AM GMT

Subject: well..
From: "Timm Stokke" Add to Contacts
Date: Mon, Apr 2 2001 10:53:19 PM +0200

Fuck, your last scam was so much easier to see thru.

I say last scam, since I'm still hoping that this what-you-want-to-call-it thing you've got going on, is just that: a scam. I mean, earlier I knew it, but this time.. I dunno. I was right about one thing, though: you couldn't keep yourself away from the page, did ya? You've been updating and stuff the last few days, you know..

So, tell us.. what new DVD's have you bought lately? You broke yet? Dammit, man, you know how badly you want to tell us, don't you? Give in to the urge, J.

You've got Ms. Dunst now, so I can't see why you're holding out on us. Unless, of course, you're over at her place now, gettin' some nookie. (How will your other girlfriends feel about this, J? Ah, whatever, I have a feeling they'll be happy as long as you bring your ass back infront of whatever you do your HTML'ing with, and give us some preeteen sex, vpl or whatever.

You really should change that URL to, you know?


Subject: JUstin smells.
From: "Roly-poly Bird"
Date: Mon, Apr 2 2001 10:49:47 PM +0800

Haha... what an attention seeker. You're such a poo, Justin, y'know? But its good that you quit the site cos now it's one less off my "daily obligatory reads" list. Haha.. GOOD STUFF!
bye baby

Subject: Re: Get to know me
From: Ceri Charlton Add to Contacts
Date: Mon, Apr 2 2001 3:17:35 AM -0700 (PDT)


Hey man, sad to hear about your site.

I saw those danger girl action figures in town on Friday, they're pretty cool.

It must be a pain in the arse getting loads of flames from people who are complaining about the site being shut down.


Subject: i like cheese
From: "Rock Janecek"
Date: Sun, Apr 1 2001 3:57:39 PM -0700


I'm with kip.

Subject: Marriage
From: Add to Contacts
Date: Sun, 1 Apr 2001 18:26:05 +0100 (GMT+01:00)

Hi. I'm Kirsten Dunst. Someone told me you wanted me for dubious sexual purposes.

(Did you have to use that halo picture? I was in a godawful mood that day, and the vest... anyway.)

I'll marry you if you give in to those poor, deluded people who wrote to you, and bring your website back. I'll marry you *and* make wild passionate squelching noises with you, if you bring it back within two weeks. This is me being generous.

For the good of mankind

ps. I don't iron shirts.

Subject: badinagoodway gone is goodinthebestway
From: Add to Contacts
Date: , Apr 1 2001 8:48:35 PM -0000


I dont know about the rest of the saps who read your site and have been sending in emails begging for your return, but I, for one, am glad you quit.

Jesus, do we really need to hear again about what DVD you just bought? Or how evil Suzi is? Or that things in Malaysia cost a lot? No. We dont. So, keep your damn site closed. Good riddance.


Last in line for the Nobel Peace Prize. First in line for pie.

Subject: Justin!!!!
From: Add to Contacts
Date: Sun, Apr 1 2001 1:40:50 PM EDT


Come back you poo!!!


Subject: I'm with Thess on this one.
From: Add to Contacts
Date: Fri, 30 Mar 2001 21:27:05 +0100 (GMT+01:00)

Give it back. Now. Even if it's just infrequent and apathetic. It's just impolite to leave us with Times New Roman and Ms Dunst.

You do not want to be waylaid in an alleyway by Thess and me. You just do not.


Subject: Your snack cakes hold no bearing
From: Add to Contacts
Date: Fri, Mar 30 2001 5:14:13 AM EST

Dear Justin,

I don't think it's fair. You know, I know it, and now, everyone will know it. What am I talking about? The reason WHY you shut down your site! Observe:

1st AIM convo:

psykotik2k: Hey Danny
MelvinTheJerk: yo
psykotik2k: When do you plan to hook me up with your sister?
MelvinTheJerk: I think you have the wrong guy. I'm the oldest of 3 brothers. I don't have a sister.
psykotik2k: fine, dick.

2nd AIM convo:

MelvinTheJerk: Hey Justin
psykotik2k: Not now, working on something for your sister
MelvinTheJerk: ???
psykotik2k: Here!
psykotik2k: @}-,-;-'--------------
psykotik2k: Ta da!
MelvinTheJerk: What the fuck?
psykotik2k: It's a rose. Y'know for your sister.
MelvinTheJerk: I see that.
psykotik2k: Like it? Took me 45 minutes to get it perfect.
MelvinTheJerk: Are you on drugs? Malaysian Opium maybe? I DON'T HAVE A FUCKING SISTER!!!
Last message not revieved by user psykotik2k. User psykotik2k not available.

3rd AIM Convo:

psykotik2k: I shut down the site.
MelvinTheJerk: but...why???
psykotik2k: To get your sisters attention. Until she goes out with me, the site stays down even though I'll update pictures and comments on it, effectively keeping it up despite it being down.
MelvinTheJerk: Look.
psykotik2k: Is she home right now? I've been calling but she hasn't picked up for the past 4 days.
MelvinTheJerk: That was you??? I need sleep! Stop calling me!
MelvinTheJerk: that heavy breathing scares me.
psykotik2k: Fine! We'll have sex here! With food!

Now, I realize school has a lot of stress involved, but don't project it onto us Justin. Just re-open the site and forget about this crazy notion, ok?
Serious man.


Lone Korean: Hey Justin.
psykotik2k: Hey Will
Lone Korean: I see you're quiting your site. AGAIN.
psykotik2k: yes!
psykotik2k: isn't it great?!
Lone Korean: Hehe, yeah.
Lone Korean: Man, I wanna mooch off your traffic too.
psykotik2k: then you'll have to send in a noteworthy email
Lone Korean: My editor-in-chief did.
psykotik2k: because that's all i will post. because my site is dead!
psykotik2k: no more posts!
Lone Korean: Hook me up, yo.
psykotik2k: write an email
Lone Korean: Can I just request over AIM?
Lone Korean: Dear Justin,

I wanna mooch off your traffic.


psykotik2k: email!
psykotik2k: makes me look popular
psykotik2k: haha
Lone Korean: Ah, come on!
Lone Korean: Please?
psykotik2k: moocher



Subject: Okay. Look.
From: "Jennifer"
Date: Thu, Mar 29 2001 2:15:53 PM -0500

Yeah, yeah, yeah, Justin shut down his site again. He's done it before, whatever.


It was cute the first time, Justin, and I was happy when you came back. It was even cute when you pretended to be some Ash dude and babbled incessantly about...whatever it was you babbled about at that time. I was happy when you came back.


If you come back, I will be PISSED. Do you hear me? Highly upset. Highly. I'm talking "dig your heart out with a plastic Dairy Queen Blizzard spoon" style pissed.

You will no longer be able to funk legit, my boy.

Now, then. If this is all just some sort of hiatus thing designed to up your hits for awhile, that's fine, and you may continue with your shenanigans, bring back your page, and all will be well. Keep in mind, however, that if you take more than a week longer to bring FUBAR back, don't bother bringing it back at all.

I WILL come to Brunei.
I WILL find you.
I WILL do bad, bad things to you.



To: ""
Subject: hmmmm
From: Add to Contacts
Date: Thu, Mar 29 2001 1:37:44 AM -0800

Hey, if you're not doing anything with your traffic, could I use it? I'm always looking to expand my fan base and generally annoy more people.

Hmm... maybe I can take advantage of Justin's propensity to copy-and-paste every noteworthy email he receives for my own nefarious gains....

{SCRIPT language="JavaScript1.1"}

Bwahahaha! Er, or something.

- Antwon*
* - this star denotes nothing


Subject: No more fubar?
From: Carson Burling­Add to Contacts
Date: Wed, Mar 28 2001 3:02:43 PM -0800 (PST)


I don't think we ever really talked, but you sent me an e-mail a few months ago asking for a link exchange with Gear Factory. I'm that guy. You might know me as That Guy.

Some lonely Korean boy told me that your site was going down. I didn't believe it at first, until I went to fubar's new home at­and saw nothing more than a picture of Kirsten Dunst in full-body halo. I knew that the dream was over. I cried for 12 straight hours.

While I'm thinking about it, I don't like you. Thanks for choosing our arch-enemy for hosting you asshole. If I knew witchcraft, I would hex you so all your children were born bald, naked and crying.

Anyways, I like you. You're a cool guy, and it's too bad to see your site's e-death. Will is standing over my should reading this at the moment while laughing at my pain of loss. He thinks this is all a joke like the last time. I don't think so. This is a very serious time for us all. If it were all a lie, a stupid fool's joke like this would only happen around.... wait a minute....

Subject: wtf?
From: "Timm Stokke" Add to Contacts
Date: Tue, Mar 27 2001 4:29:45 PM +0200

Justin, dude..

You know you don't have to give it up just cause I've started writing in Norwegian again, right? So, please, tell me this is just some half assed scam you're trying to pull off..

You're not serious about this now, are you?

Don't even think about it, kid. And besides, you know you can't keep youself away from the page for too long anyway, right?

Oh, and *when* you put the page up again, it's time to remove my link. It's all norwegian again, you know.


Subject: (no subject)
From: Add to Contacts
Date: Mon, Mar 26 2001 12:09:20 PM EST

your REALLY quitting? that sucks. hmm...why ya quitting?

Subject: Uh.
From: "Kip Jowett"
Date: Tue, Mar 27 2001 6:07:23 PM +0100

hey, if you don't want them... can i have your hits?!

just playing. get back here NOW, i did NOT give you permission to show me your wife in a full body halo! not that i'm complaining... or anything... uh...


Subject: (no subject)
From: Add to Contacts
Date: Tue, Mar 27 2001 5:13:32 PM EST

nooo. no u can not close! no no no! gosh justin.. ;( i cant believe you closed...


Subject: what happened man?
From: "k. campbell" Add to Contacts
Date: Tue, Mar 27 2001 5:54:00 PM -0500

whats up with your site man? it became one of my daily visits but now its gone!!!

name : Jack Frost
email :
from :
site :
url :
comments : Well you pretty much suck allright, for not continueing your site..

Fuckin Retard

Fuck off